Florida Fairy

Growing up in New England you expect it to get cold. In fact, it starts to get cool just after Labor day in September. By October and definitely by Halloween you have on a pretty good hoodie when you go outside. You might get one or two of those days called Indian summer, relax everybody do not be offended, that is what it was called. The temperature might make it to the high 60’s or low 70’s but only for a day or two and we definitely have seen temps around freezing with snow. New England can be a mixed bag. However, by November you thoroughly get settled in as cold and snow is a constant reminder, daily for the next 6 to 7 months.

This is all normal for New England, you know it and expect it. True New Englanders don’t really consider cold or freezing at 32 degrees, the actual freezing temperature. For New Englanders, it needs to get into the teens to mid 20’s before we consider it a nip in the air. Anything around the 30’s we still go out in a winter coat but we might not have it zippered all the way up, possibly no gloves or hat either. New Englanders are tough.

There have been many times I have gone out to shovel with no boots. I have cooked on a grill in shorts when it was in the 30’s. Hell, we drink ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts in the winter. I have played hockey in February on a pond with a sweatshirt, you can’t dangle all encombered. We love the winter classic the NHL does and watching the Patriots mash somebody in a blizzard is a good time.

New Englanders are tough but at some point, you say enough of this shit; shoveling, snow, sleet, freezing rain, frozen pipes, and lost power. For me, this happened just after my 50th birthday and I moved to Florida. My first two winters here I laughed at people as they walked around in winter coats and gloves when the temps hit the 50’s. It does that for a couple of days here and there between late January and March.

By my third winter, I became a Florida fairy. If I go outside now and it is not at least 75 degrees I wonder what the hell is going on. I don’t sit out in the lanai (fancy for back yard porch) anymore, too cold. I wear my Patriots or Bruins pajama pants and my fluffy slippers. I even have a thick robe my wife bought me. I wear a hoodie to work, in fact, I wear a kangaroo hat all day now, the AC in my place of employment is too cold.

I have turned into a Floridian, a Florida fairy. it is true, it happens, my dad warned me but I did not believe him. I like the warm weather, the sun, sand, and the beach. The closest I get to a hockey rink is on TV. I don’t get to see the Bruins, only that junior team the Lightning. that is one thing that will never leave this New Englander; the Bruins and Patriots.

It will not be long before I force-feed myself a steak at the early bird special or become the president of Del Boca Vista. – Morty and Jerry Seinfeld.

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