All I Want For Christmas

I understand everybody has pet peeves, but here are some that I find very annoying. My Christmas wish is to have these sayings removed for the English vernacular.

A penny for your thoughts, What the hell does this mean? why even say it? If you ask for my thoughts, I will tell you, that is the purpose of my blog, please read it and tell your friends. I don’t know if this saying is an actual insult, or the person is cheap. Are my thoughts only worth a penny? or is that all you are willing to pay? 

It’s neither here nor there. Then where the hell is it? It must be somewhere. I’m certain this means, it does not matter. Then, why not simply say that it does not matter? 

Irregardless is not a word! I don’t care what websters thinks. Websters call it a word, https://www.merriam-webster.com even though, every editor flags the word as incorrect. The definition websters gave, “it has not caught on as a word, but it is used. It is also not generally accepted.” regardless of what anybody thinks, it can be a word. Just stop using it. It makes no sense, it sounds terrible, and your editor will just complain, like me.

Can I steal you for a minute? This is like a penny for your thoughts. Isn’t stealing somebody kidnapping? and if you are going to steal them, why ask? I usually find people that use this a real pain in the ass. They ask for a lot of help. It is their cute way of saying; they are not paying attention, lazy, or not very bright. 

The dog and pony show. I have never seen such a show. I would like too, I love animals, “Who leaves a country packed with ponies for a non-pony country” (my Seinfeld quote for today). Typically, I have found this used when people are putting on a demonstration or explaining why we have to do something with the knowledge it is stupid, but it has to be explained.

Same old song and dance. I get this, it is doing the same thing over again. It goes well with the dog and pony show. This is called insanity, doing the same thing over and over. Change the damn song.

A penny saved is a penny earned. Not really, it is merely a found penny. You did not earn a thing. It is still a penny and quite useless. You can’t buy anything with a penny. I’m not sure you can buy anything with 25 pennies. Let’s suppose you can, what are the odds of finding 25 pennies in one day? I wonder how many pennies I lost that somebody found and said, “A penny saved is a penny earned.”

You can’t take from Peter to Pay Paul. You can, but it is called stealing. I think this is how our government operates, they steal quite a bit. It seems to be the theme now, let’s take from one group (Peter) and give to another group (Paul), irregardless of what it is, stealing. I used the word irregardless, even though it looks and sounds terrible. My editor flagged it as incorrect, but I still used it. Websters said I can.

How many times have I told you? ( I don’t know, but if I knew you would ask, I would have kept count). If it is that important, why didn’t you keep count? If you have to keep saying something maybe you should ask somebody else? Isn’t this like the same old song and dance? 

I find it bothersome when the waitress or waiter comes by every minute to ask “how is everything?” I have no idea, I’m still putting on the salt. Didn’t you just put the plate down? Or they come by with your mouth full. If the food is good you don’t need to ask every minute, if it sucks I will let you know. If I need anything, I will ask when you pass by, to annoy the people at the next table. 

People in Florida do not use a direction, but they love the horn. Maybe, if they used the directional more, there would be less need for the horn?

I’m sure I will not get any of these for Christmas. Irregardless of that, enjoy your holidays. If you are traveling and you are in Florida, please use your directional. I hate the sound of the horn.

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