As Kramer Would Say, “The Little Guy Is Back in Place at the End of the Line”
Well, that would be me. I’m happy to say I am home, back in Brazil, and after a shower, I enjoyed my pão de queijo, followed by some grilled chicken with beans and rice.
I have been jonesing for the beans and rice. My gastrointestinal tract was suffering from a serious lack of Brazilian cuisine. Apparently, it has its own travel requirements, and American food wasn’t meeting them.
Here is my travel adventure.
The Long Wait at Tampa Airport
I took an Uber to Tampa airport at 8:00 a.m. Tuesday and arrived at my gate around 9:00 a.m. for a 7-hour wait for my flight to Miami.
It wasn’t bad. I find it relaxing to sit at the airport, where I can read, watch people, and work on some cool historical posts that I will share once I put them together for the blog.
I had a coffee and a bagel. You don’t want to overdo it here and have a code blue at 20,000 feet. There are some things you just don’t want to experience in a pressurized metal tube full of strangers.
My Interesting Flight to Miami
The flight to Miami was a bit interesting. I sat next to a guy watching videos on how to clean and load guns.
I was getting a bit anxious watching him out of the corner of my right eye. He was sitting right next to me, after all. I found myself wondering, if this goes off the rails, how quickly can I grab and tackle this guy?
Fortunately, nothing happened. But I have to say, he was a bit of an asshat for watching that kind of thing on a plane. There is a time and place for everything, and sitting next to a stranger at 30,000 feet while watching gun-cleaning videos probably isn’t the best way to reassure your fellow passengers.
I was happy to get off that plane without any excitement beyond the usual flight experience.
Miami Airport: A Pleasant Surprise?
My next stop in Miami was interesting. I arrived at 5:00 pm Tuesday evening. We got off the plane in a kind of makeshift area, almost outside, and had to walk to the terminal.
However, unlike my past experiences at Miami airport, it was a short walk to an escalator, a tram ride to the terminal, and then I was at my gate for Brazil.
Another 7 hours early.
Still, it wasn’t a bad layover. I got another bagel and a drink, sat down, and watched people.
I have discovered that airports are pretty good places for people-watching. You see people rushing, people sleeping, people eating, people talking loudly on their phones, and people who look like they have absolutely no idea where they are going.
I suppose I fit right in, except I knew exactly where I was going. I just had a very long time to get there.
The Overnight Flight to Brazil
We boarded at 11:30 p.m. and were off just after midnight. Welcome Wednesday morning! well past my bedtime.
I slept for almost the whole flight, except for the first hour, when the lady seated next to me could not seem to sit still.
Shoes off, then she had to get her bag. Put it back, get it again. Put on a sweater, adjust her blanket, and eat her food like a ravenous coyote.
I was beginning to wonder if she was preparing for a long-haul flight or moving into the cabin permanently.
I think I finally nodded off around 1:30 a.m. and woke up as they started the breakfast run.
None for me, thanks.
I had managed to sleep, and I wasn’t about to ruin that achievement by eating breakfast when my body was still convinced it was the middle of the night.
The Bathroom Incident at 30,000 Feet
Now, this next part deserves a mention.
I was waiting outside the bathroom at 30,000 feet. I had to pee, and the facilities were occupied for 15 minutes, so I waited.
Fifteen minutes!
I’m thinking whoever was in there had a code blue. She should have had a bagel.
Well, out pops a lady, all spritzed up, looking like she was ready for a night on the town.
Seriously? On a plane at 30,000 feet, you pee, drop a deuce, and get out. You should not be using the place for personal grooming for the Oscars.
There is a line of people waiting, the space is about the size of a small closet, and the rest of us have basic bodily functions to attend to.
Save the full beauty routine for when you land. The plane’s bathroom is not a dressing room at the Academy Awards.
I finally got my turn and was able to get on with the rest of my flight.
Finally, Back in Rio
Once we landed, I did the usual marathon to get to the exit.
The Rio airport is a marathon of walking, but they have special lines for us old guys. I was through passport control, customs, and at the exit in about 20 minutes from plane to exit.
I had no luggage to collect, which helped. Traveling with just a carry-on has its advantages, especially when you have already spent enough time in airports to last you a while.
My ride picked me up about an hour later, and I was home, enjoying my shower and eating that food I had been missing.
I was missing my kids, but happy to see my wife and kid here in Brazil.
My gastrointestinal tract is back in business, and I am comfortable on the couch, relaxing. Life is good.
The End of This Travel Adventure
That is the end of this travel adventure. I now know better what plans I need to make for my next trip.
I hope you enjoyed the ride, and keep coming back for more stories, book reviews, history, expat retired life, and my weekly Limerick series, where the ratings can range from G to X.
I think the coming week might get me barred from any future travel to the US.
We shall see.
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