How do you answer the question “What do you do?” now that you’re retired?
The Art of Mastering Absolutely Nothing
Some people treat retirement like a crisis; for me, it’s a masterclass in blissful inactivity. Honestly, I’ve worked far too many decades to feel guilty about it. I’ve read that some people struggle with their “identity” once the business cards stop mattering, but I seem to have misplaced my identity somewhere between the last Zoom call and the first nap, and I’m perfectly fine with that.
The “Static” State of Mind
My wife will often catch me staring at the floor and ask, with genuine concern, “What are you thinking? You look so pensive.”
The truth? I am thinking about absolutely nothing. If you’re old enough to remember when television stations actually went off the air at 2:00 AM, leaving nothing but that flickering “snow” and a soft hiss on the screen, that is exactly what’s happening in my head. It’s glorious. No data, no deadlines, just high-definition static.
The Great Escape
I’ve heard the horror stories: people who miss the “social connection” of the office or the rush of a packed calendar. Personally, I’ve had enough “synergy” and “circling back” to last three lifetimes. Did I mention I hate the term synergy?
While others are mourning their empty Outlook calendars, I’m celebrating them. My current “high-stakes” schedule looks something like this:
- Morning: Reading until my eyelids get heavy.
- Mid-day: A tactical nap to recover from the reading.
- Afternoon: Walking to the beach to judge the tide with a drink in my hand.
- Evening: People-watching at the mall—it’s like a nature documentary, but with better snacks.
The Final Verdict
This is complete freedom. The days go by faster than they ever did when I was staring at a clock in a boardroom, but that’s the perk of surviving a career made of midnight calls, lost weekends, and schedules that felt like a prison sentence.
I don’t miss the grind. I don’t miss the noise. I’m finally off the clock, and the view from here is perfect.
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