What are you doing here?
Do you need to phone home?
You landed on a really strange planet. It’s pretty much chaos, arguing, and nonsense every day. And apparently, according to the highly reliable investigative journalism known as social media, you’ve been here before.
If that’s true, why did you leave?
Seriously. You had a look around, checked out humanity, and apparently decided to come back later? I’d like to know what happened during that first visit.
I’d also have a few other questions.
What do you know about Area 51?
Are there relatives of yours down there? Is that where you park the spaceship? Do you have some sort of family discount?
And finally, what exactly are your plans?
Did you come here to study us? Take over the planet? Steal our technology?
Or did you just get lost?
Because if you’re here to destroy us, I’d appreciate a little warning. We already have enough people arguing on social media. I’m not sure this planet can handle an alien invasion on top of everything else.
Actually, come to think of it, maybe that’s why you left the first time.
What would be the first question you’d ask an alien if you suddenly found yourself standing face-to-face with one?
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