Let me be clear: the technology is not the problem. Streaming is a miracle. I can watch anything, anytime, on any device if I want to. No, this is not about the technology. This is a full, unfiltered complaint about the people running these streaming services, and I want it on the record. I remember Netflix about 20 years ago, when you ordered a DVD, and it showed up in your mailbox like a little gift from the entertainment gods. You had a queue. You had a plan. Life made sense.

Here is my issue: network television manages to produce 22 episodes a year. Twenty-two! And a new season every fall, like clockwork, like a normal functioning industry. Streaming services? Eight to twelve episodes, if you are lucky, and then you wait. And wait. And wait some more. Sometimes two years. Sometimes three. That really burns my pau de queijo, and I do not use that expression lightly.

Take Stranger Things. Great show. Loved it. But, sweet mother of all that is holy, those kids were practically in diapers when it started, and by the final season, they were filing taxes and worrying about their 401(k)s. The show aged in real time. I aged in real time waiting for it. By the time a new season dropped, I had completely forgotten what had happened in the previous season.

Peaky Blinders is a perfect example of what I am talking about. Brilliant show. Absolutely brilliant. But by the time the final season came out, I had no idea what was happening, who was alive, or why everyone was so angry all the time. I was too frustrated to rewatch and too lost to continue, so I just never watched the last season. Years of investment, gone. Tommy Shelby is out there somewhere having his big dramatic finale and I will never know how it ends. That is on them, not me. The Lincoln Lawyer and Night Agent are at least somewhat reasonable about it, but I am watching the calendar.

So that is my gripe. More episodes. Faster turnaround. I am not asking for the moon here, I am asking for a television schedule that does not require me to set a calendar reminder two years in advance just to remember that a show I like still exists. I am a patient man. But I have things to watch and limited years on this earth to watch them, and I would prefer not to spend half of that time waiting. Get it together, streaming services. The clock is ticking. Mostly mine.