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The World Cup, Lip Syncing, and the Academy Awards

Opening Thought

The World Cup is finally underway, and because this tournament is being hosted by three countries—Mexico, Canada, and the United States—we were treated to three opening ceremonies.

As with most things in life, some were memorable, some were forgettable, and one left me wondering if someone should ask for their money back.

Before I start complaining, let’s give credit where it is due.

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Mexico Got It Right

Of the three ceremonies, Mexico’s was easily my favorite.

There was energy.

There was color.

There was culture.

The performances incorporated elements of Mexican heritage, traditional costumes, music, and imagery that reflected the country’s history. It felt authentic. It felt uniquely Mexican.

The field presentation was impressive, the music worked, and the entire event seemed proud of its roots. Whether you were Mexican or not, you could appreciate the effort that went into showcasing the country’s identity.

That’s exactly what an opening ceremony should do.

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The United States… What Happened?

Now for my gripes.

This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, but if you’re getting paid to perform, would it kill you to actually sing the song?

The lip-syncing was painfully obvious.

Katy Perry was bland at best, and at one point looked like a lampshade that had wandered onto the stage. I still have no idea why the kid was standing out there with her. Maybe there was a reason. If there was, I missed it completely.

The other performance was so bad that I’ve moved beyond complaining about it.

Some things are simply better left alone.

Let’s just say if I wanted to watch people pretend to perform, I could have stayed home and watched a political debate.

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Canada’s Entry

Canada was fine.

Not great.

Not terrible.

Just fine.

I know who Alanis Morissette and Michael Bublé are. The others? No clue.

The whole thing felt like toast without butter.

Perfectly edible.

Nothing wrong with it.

But you’re probably not telling your friends about it later.

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New Awards Are Needed

Now we arrive at the real issue.

At the conclusion of every World Cup, when the trophy is presented, FIFA should hand out two additional awards.

The first would be:

Best Performance Arguing With the Referee

This award goes to the player who clearly committed a foul but reacts as though he has just been falsely accused of an international crime.

Some players look like they’re pleading for their lives.

Others appear to be seeking absolution from the Pope himself.

The facial expressions alone deserve recognition.

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Best Dramatic Reaction to Being Fouled

As someone who grew up playing ice hockey, some of these performances are beyond comical.

Now, before the soccer faithful come after me, yes, sometimes players are genuinely hurt.

But many deserve Oscar nominations.

A slight bump occurs, and suddenly a player is clutching the back of his head, grabbing an ankle, rolling across the field, staring toward the heavens, and generally behaving as though the end has arrived.

Then the training staff comes running out carrying what appears to be a picnic basket.

Two minutes later?

The player is sprinting around the field like a five-year-old who just discovered an amusement park.

Miraculously healed.

Modern medicine truly is remarkable.

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Final Thoughts

So, to summarize:

Mexico won the opening ceremony.

Canada was respectable.

The United States should demand a refund.

And when the tournament ends, the final awards should come not only from FIFA, but also from the Academy Awards, the Vatican, and possibly your local parole board.

I love the sport.

I love the passion.

I love the World Cup.

Sometimes, however, I find myself enjoying the unintentional comedy just a little bit more.

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“The World Cup showcases the world’s greatest soccer talent. It also occasionally showcases the world’s greatest acting talent.” – Kevin’s Musings