Eating and sleeping.
These are my most consistent habits from day one, and they’ve improved my life so much that they’ve kept me alive for 62+ years—soon to be 63.
Surprisingly, they came naturally.
On a more serious note, here’s how I think habits actually work. Based on personal experience and science.
A cue introduces a possible behavior. Repeated conscious choices strengthen the association between the cue and the behavior until it becomes increasingly automatic, which psychologists call a habit. If the behavior continues consistently over time, it becomes part of a routine. Neither habits nor routines are permanent; they persist only while the cues, circumstances, and personal interest or values continue to support them. I went to the gym regularly for years. Then my schedule, priorities, and circumstances changed. My routine gradually disappeared, and with it, the habit of going to the gym.
Put simply, interest is what gets your attention in the first place. That interest makes you notice or create cues that prompt action. Through repetition, the behavior becomes easier and more automatic. If you keep doing it regularly, it becomes a routine.
But routines aren’t permanent. Change the environment, lose the interest, remove the cues, or simply decide your priorities have changed, and the routine can disappear just as easily as it began.
For me, the process looks like this:
- Interest – Why you begin. (I wanted to get in better condition)
- Cue – What prompts you to act. (I was too fat! and there was a nice gym nearby)
- Habit – The learned cue-response connection that becomes increasingly automatic. (I always went to the gym)
- Routine – The repeated pattern that continues over time. (Things changed and I stopped)
That’s why I’ve never been convinced by the idea that habits magically form after a certain number of days or become permanent. They are simply learned behaviors that continue only while something keeps reinforcing them.
I think the question is misleading because it treats a habit as though it permanently improved your life. Many habits only improve your life while they continue. You can exercise regularly for years, and it improves your fitness tremendously. When you stop exercising, your fitness may decline, and you may gain weight. The improvement wasn’t permanent because the behavior wasn’t permanent. We see this all the time with weight loss plans.
Perhaps the better question is: “What ongoing behavior or routine improves your life the most?” That acknowledges that many benefits depend on continuing the behavior rather than simply having formed a habit in the past.
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